Parting Words
by Izzu
Summary: He never thought he'd be reading Sijin's letter.
He stepped into his house with heavy heart, before closing the door behind him. Putting aside his umbrella, he glanced up towards the empty living room in front of him.

It used to cheer him up in the past, coming home to this house after long days of work. His wife would look up to him and smile, and his only son... would run over to greet him. But then, many years past as he watches his son grew into a fine man... he saw less and less of him, due to the fact he mostly stayed at the Military Academy, and then the military base. Only coming home during his short breaks. But that had been bearable because his wife was around. When his wife died, Sijin used to insist that he'd keep him company. But he used to tell his son that he was better off staying at the base; since their house was quite a distance from there and it would be a hassle to travel between here and there. Besides, if he missed his son... he could always call.

But now?

The house felt even more empty.

xxx

He put Sijin's dog tag on the cabinet as he took a seat at the sofa. He stared at the letter in his hand.

Back when he was still in service; before every mission, he had always thought about his family. Whether or not he could see them again after a mission; whether or not he could live long enough to do many things with them. He used to worry about them whenever he was away; and ended up putting all of his thoughts in his will. Hoping that neither his wife nor his son would ever have the chance to read what he wrote in those letters.

Turned out, his wife never had to read any of those letters. Neither did his son. He never thought he'd be reading Sijin's letter instead. He never thought that he'd outlive both his wife and son instead.

 _Life can be quite a contradiction._

He slowly opened the envelope, took out the folded letter and spread it open. As expected of his son, it was _really_ a letter written for him with carefully written thoughts... and not just random song lyrics put in just because.

xxx

To Father,

Well, I've written this a lot to you I'm not sure how else I should begin this letter with, this time. You know how this works, right? Since you've done this a lot of times yourself when you're still in service.

Actually... lately, I had another person that I have to write a letter to before a mission. Other than you. The first time I did, it didn't seem so hard. Because it was like any other of my letters for you. It's just formality, after all. But then the more I wrote the letters, it gets harder. Not sure if it's because the missions gets harder every time, or because lately... I always end up cutting it a bit too close during dangerous missions. I guess, I started to get a bit more scared. Was it the same for you? When you wrote all those letters to mother? Does it ever get better?

Well, this time it shouldn't be any different. Because I'm not planning to die any time soon. But in case you were reading this now...

Father, I'm sorry. After mother died, my only wish for you is for you to live long and healthy. I'd strive for the same thing myself so that I could always be by your side. But if you're reading this, it means that I could not keep my words to you. I didn't even manage to become a general, so I guess I couldn't take that picture with you after all. You're right, how could someone like me become a general so easily? I didn't even get the chance to introduce my girlfriend to you.

You and mother would've liked her, I think.

But first and foremost, I wanted you to know that it wasn't your fault. Becoming a soldier, that was purely my choice. Ever since I was little, I've always respected you. Like you, I wanted to be able to protect the people important to me as well as my country. For a very long time, you have been my hero.

I'm really honoured to be born as your son.

xxx

Younggeun could not keep the tears from falling. As he thought, the child was aware of his feelings. How he often felt guilty for letting Sijin join the military. How he often wished that he agreed with his wife, to not allowing their son to become a soldier as well.

 _"But mother, I'm not really suitable to be a judge... much less a lawyer. I'm not really **that** eloquent. And becoming a doctor, hmm... I don't think I'm THAT smart either to be able to take that path."_

He remembered how his wife used to _lecture_ their son over the topic.

xxx

"Why a soldier? Do we need _more_ soldiers in our family? Why can't you aim for a much _safer_ job for your future?"

Sijin wrapped his arms around his mother's waist, trying to coax her to accept his decision. Sitting by himself at the coffee table, he couldn't help shaking his head. His son could always act so cute whenever the needs arrived.

"Mother... please understand. For once, I wanted to do something that I have much confidence in doing. I've always been athletic, I'm smart too. And I want to be able to protect beautiful people, senior citizens and children. _Like father_."

He couldn't help feeling burdened. He could understand why his wife was reluctant to let Sijin proceed with his decision. She already had to worry about him. Adding Sijin to list of her worries would have seemed unfair to her.

His wife frowned. "Senior citizens? Was that what you're calling me these days?", she exclaimed, yet she didn't sound too angry about that.

Sijin let her go as he stared at her, looking so shocked. "Ah, no... mother! How could _anyone_ call you a senior citizen? You're a beautiful lady, that's what you are! As a man and your son, I have a duty to protect you."

Despite herself, his wife laughed at their son's choice of words. He couldn't help laughing as well. Their son was really quite a charmer...

"Oh, my... you cheeky boy," she exclaimed, shaking her head. "Then what of the other citizens of the country? A soldier has the duty to protect _everyone_ , not just a select few. You can't just choose to protect only the beautiful, the old and young ones. You _do_ still need to protect people who are not beautiful or people who you might not like. And if you're _ordered_ to, you might even have to protect those that you may not consider to be good people. I thought you would have been aware of that."

Younggeun nodded as Sijin glanced towards him. But from the grin that he saw coming from his son, he knew that Sijin already had something he could counter against his wife's argument.

Sijin chuckled.

"But I am _going_ to protect everyone as a soldier! I'll protect everyone who I _considered_ beautiful, not just from their outside appearances. The bad, the evil... people that aren't decent, they're just _old_ , grumpy people to me. Either that or they're just immature because they're _young_. Regardless, I'll do my job and protect them as well."

Of all the things his son had ever said, those words were the most _amusing_. He never thought his son would reason things out like that. There's no winning against their son now.

And it appeared that even his wife admitted her loss. "Geez. And _you_ said you're not eloquent. Fine, be a soldier like your father!"

xxx

Younggeun placed the letter aside as he got up to head towards the display cabinet. He picked up an old picture, the one they took together when Sijin had been promoted to a sergeant. His wife was still alive too, at that time. He stared longingly towards the smiling faces of his late wife and son.

Seungja and Sijin wouldn't have wanted to see him suffering alone, because of them. He sighed.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. This rain will pass... too."


End file.
